Understanding Children's Personalities | Value Bookshop's Reading Notes

I came across this book titled “Personality Plus for Parents: Understanding What Makes Your Child Tick”. It highlights 4 basic personality types:
1. Sanguine – high energy, fun loving, outgoing, seeks attention and approval, optimistic, boisterous.
2. Choleric – goal oriented, organized, likes to be in control, lots of drive and determination, opinionated, stubborn, loves challenges, gets things done, seeks appreciation and credit for work.
3. Melancholy – quiet, thoughtful, perfectionist, a thinker, task oriented.
4. Phlegmatic – easily contented, don’t sweat the small stuff, steady, stable, negotiators, a ‘watcher’ and not a ‘doer’, dislikes risks, challenges or surprises.

The reason why I thought of this book is because today is the first day of school in Malaysia. Many parents have children going to school for the first time. I understand the mixture of worry, anxiety and excitement these parents face as they wonder:
“Is my child going to be ok at school?”
“Will I be able to leave my child without us going through the drama of separation anxiety?”
“Will she make friends easily or is she going to sit in a corner and shy away from everyone?”
“Will he like or dislike the school experience?”
“Is she independent enough or too scared to even ask permission to go to the toilet?”
“Will he be bullied or be a bully?”
“Will she like the teacher or be intimidated?”

How a child responds depends on the kind of personality they have. If you have a sanguine on your hands, you don’t have to worry as this bubbly child will soon be running around with a bunch of new friends. The story changes if you have a melancholic child. Be ready for some clingyness and crying.

This book is a good guideline for parents to truly understand their children… and themselves as well. You yourself have your own personality. And sometimes we expect our children to think and behave like us. Not only that, we usually think what works for us should also work for them. That is not necessarily the case because your personalities may differ. You may be a sanguine who likes to talk but may have a melancholy child who would rather be quiet and think. Or you may be a choleric who is very organized and gets things done but have a phlegmatic child who is very laid back.

Bottom line is to truly understand your child so you may learn how to parent more effectively. That you may know how to draw on their strengths and handle their weaknesses. That we may know how to balance our own personality to compliment theirs. That we may become better nurturers, disciplinarians and motivators to each individual child.