Value Bookshop’s Reading Notes

When it’s time to look for a good kindergarten, many parents are attracted to those that are Montessori based. Why?

- The teaching method has proved effective.
- It’s been around for awhile and has built credibility.
- Many are familiar with the term ‘Montessori‘. Because of it’s familiarity and popularity, people trust it and are comfortable with it.

However, Montessori is not just a type of school you send your child to. It is not a method but rather an approach. It encapsulates your view of your child and how they develop. In the book Montessori Read and Write: A Parent’s Guide to Literacy for Children, it says:

“It is quite possible to do without specialized Montessori material and still have a Montessori approach; it is also possible to have all the specialized Montessori materials in the world and the wrong approach!”

Therefore, if you really believe enough in the Montessori way to put your child in a Montessori school, it only makes sense to extend that approach to your own home. Do you parent the Montessori way?

Here are a few tips on how you can bring Montessori into your home.

1. Teach them living skills by letting them work in the home. Don’t do everything for them. Teach them that they must care for the home. Let them observe and participate in house cleaning, cooking, putting away the clothes, making beds etc….

My 3 year old son likes to fold the handkerchiefs when I’m folding the clothes. It is a no-brainer for us adults and takes less than a second to do. Watching him trying to figure it out, I knew that we shouldn’t overlook the educational value of such simple tasks. And his look of accomplishment is simply priceless.

2. Let them do things for themselves like learning to pour, dressing themselves, feeding themselves etc…. You may think it’s more troublesome this way because they will take forever and make a mess. But do not be short sighted. It may be difficult in the
beginning, but it is for the better. The extra time and effort has educational value.

One Montessori exercise is to pour rice. Fill a small pitcher with rice and demonstrate how to pour it into a cup. Then pour it back from cup to pitcher. Let them practice until it is perfected. If you are afraid of spills, use a tray. When your child has perfected
pouring rice, let them advance to pouring water. And teach them how to clean up what they spill.

3. Make things easily excessible so they don’t have to constantly ask you to do things for them. For example:

• Put books on a low shelf.
• Have pencils, color pencils, paper, glue, scissors, paint etc…. readily available in a designated area.
• Have a stool for them to reach the sink and toilet.
• Put their eating utensils and their drinking cup in a place where they can reach.
• Put simple hygiene things such as soap, toothpaste, toilet paper in a small container or cabinet where they can reach. When these things are used up, they will know where to get replacements.

4. Teach them how to make choices. Begin by offering choices of two ‘known’ things such as blue pants or red pants? Gradually you can expand their selections. By offering a choice of activity, clothing or food, you not only teach them to make choices but will also cut down the number of confrontations you have with your child.

5. Develop their concentration. Believe it or not, young children already have the ability to concentrate. They just need to practice it to get better. Unfortunately, we adults do them more damage then good. For example, your child is immersed in an activity and we interrupt by talking or demanding their attention. I am guilty of this. Sometimes my baby would be staring at something intently and I would distract him by asking questions like “what are you looking at?” or “what’s the color of the tree?” What I should do is wait until he changes his focus of attention before opening my mouth.

Other things you can do to help develop their concentration is cut down television viewing.

6. Mistakes are an opportunity for learning. This may be a difficult thing to remember. Many times I act like mistakes are an opportunity for me to yell. Hahahah. I’m sure many of you are with me on this. Anyway, Montessori says we should not make our children feel stupid or silly when they make a mistake. We don’t want them to develop a fear of making an error. So if you think you need help remembering, just put a big sign on your wall, “Teach, don’t yell”. Make one for every room in the house if necessary. For example, if your child spills the drink, teach him how to clean it up, teach him how to carry it better or teach him where to place the cup so he doesn’t knock it over again next time.

Okay, this is all for now. Look out for more tips on how to bring Montessori to your home next time. If you have a good tip on how you Montessori at home, feel free to share.

The last few weeks, I’ve tried to incorporate more impromptu lessons into my children’s lives. I sometimes forget that they have not yet acquire much of the knowledge that has become automatic common sense to me. With that kind of mindset, there are actually many, many things we can teach our children informally. Here are a few examples:

Example 1: Physics
(My son playing with the bouncing net a.k.a. “sarong”)
DS: Mommy, why when baby is not in the sarong, I cannot bounce it?
Mommy: That’s because it needs something heavy to pull at the springs on top.
DS: Oooooh. I see.

Example 2: Chemistry
(My son thinking he is doing a good deed for his baby brother, washed a battery operated toy)
DS: Mommy, this toy cannot work properly already. See, the sound like going to die.
Mommy (screaming): Why you wash this???? It’s got batteries inside. Of course cannot wash lah.
… after Mommy calms down
Mommy: D, I know you were trying to help but we cannot wash battery operated toys okay? The battery is like electricity for the toy to work. Water and electricity cannot mix.

Example 3: Road Safety
(Sitting in the car with my girl)
Mommy: See, so many cars on the road.
DD: Yes, must drive carefully right?
Mommy: Yes, anytime you are on the road, it is dangerous. See, if you want to go left or right, you must turn on your signal (indicator light). See, like that car in front. He wants to go right, so he puts on his signal. Can you see the light blinking?
DD: Oooooh, so when you put on the signal, the light at the back will blink.
Mommy: Yes, the light in front also.

Example 4: Health
(Mommy reading the news on the computer and DD standing nearby checking out what Mommy is doing)
Mommy: See this? It’s about a girl who at first didn’t want to smoke cigarettes, but all her friends were smoking so she started to wonder if she was missing out on some fun. So she decided to try and you know what happened?
DD: What?
Mommy: She coughed and coughed and became sick the next few days. She also felt like vomiting. After that she vowed never to touch cigarettes again. See here? She says she doesn’t want to breathe poison into her body. Want to see what happens to your lung when you smoke?
(Mommy finds some images through google)
Mommy: (Pointing to the black colored lung). That’s is what your lung will look like.
(Pointing to the healthy lung). That’s a good lung. Which one you want?
DD: Damus seeee… if you smoke your lung will be black like that.
Mommy: So next time if you have friends who ask you to smoke, you know what to do right?

Example 5: Domestic Skills
(DS is washing his cup. He is just holding the cup under running water.)
Mommy: That’s not going to get the cup clean lah. (Ding ding! Light goes on in my head that I’ve not actually taught him how to wash a cup). You have to use your hand and rub it like this.
DS: Like that ah Mommy? (Trying to do what I had shown him)
Mommy: Yes, good. Now turn off the water. You don’t need that much water to wash a small cup.

Example 6: Health
(Trying to get the children to drink more water instead of sweet drinks)
Mommy: Too much sugar is no good for you, you know? You might get diabetes next time. You know what is diabetes?
DD: No. What is diabetes?
Mommy: People who have too much sugar in their blood. Then it cause them problems like they can go blind. Also, when they have a cut, their wound cannot heal so easily like yours now.

These are just some of the stuff that I can remember telling them.
So anyway, the point of this blog is:
Be on the alert for things or situations that may prompt opportunities for learning. They are all around us.

One of my favourite lines I use that my own children have picked up is “Am I talking to do wall?” I’m sure you know the frustration of having your children NOT listen to what you’re saying.

Teaching our children good listening skills is important because for them to excel in learning, they must first listen. Today’s culture with the distraction of television, computers and video games only makes things worse as it shortens their attention span. So what can we do to help our children listen better?

1. Give specific instructions on how to listen.
- Look at the person talking.
- Stop squirming. Keep still.
- Focus on what is being said.
- Try to understand and remember the message. Ask if you don’t understand.
- Can you repeat what was said?

2. Be a good model yourself.
- Some kids like to talk a lot. Take my son for instance. He talks all the time. So much so I sometimes tune him out. That, is of course not being a good example. If possible, try to stop what you are doing and look at your child at their level when they talk to you. Give them your attention.

3. Play listening games like Simon Says or Do What I Say and Not What I Do. How about memory games? I remember playing a game that goes like this “There is a ship going to Madagascar (or any other country) and it is carrying 2 chickens.” The next person repeats that and adds another item e.g. “There is a ship going to Madagascar and it is carrying 2 chickens and 9 umbrellas.” The game goes on and on with items being added.

4. Read to your children.
- Don’t let television, computers and video games be your children’s main form of entertainment. As you read to your children, you can check for understanding by asking relevant questions pertaining to the story. Sometimes, children will add their comments as you read. When they do that, you know they are listening.

Recommended Book:
Listen Buddy

Our review:
Do you seem to always be frustratingly saying to your children “Are you listening to me?” Then this book is perfect for you. Buddy has beautiful ears but don’t seem to use them very well. When asked to bring a pen, he brings a hen. When asked to buy fifteen tomatoes, he buys fifty potatoes. One day his lack of listening skills get him into trouble and he is almost made into bunnyrabbit soup. From then on, he decides to really listen to what his parents say. Children will love Buddy’s hilarious antics and parents will love the message that goes with the story: Ears are for hearing but listening is a decision. And when children decide to listen to their parents, they usually stay out of trouble.

Available at Value Bookshop.
Price: RM17.20

Wonder why there are hardly any dinosaur and dragon books at my bookstore? Because they get hijacked by my son. Brought back a stack of children books the other day and before I can blink, some books have been deemed not for sale. Well… not now anyway.
Children get excited over new books. It’s one way to cultivate their reading passion. So, once in a while, update their book shelves with new stories.

Here he is with his runaway stash. He didn’t wait for me to read to him. He flipped through the dinosaur books and made up his own stories.

This is him saying “No, you’re not getting these back!”

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It’s finally done. I’ve registered my girl at the nearest Kebangsaan school. The last two years I’ve yo-yoed between Chinese and Kebangsaan schools, wondering which I should choose. The question of which is better still remains unanswered among many parents. Below is a quick summary of what most people think of the two:

*Chinese school = get to learn chinese, good discipline, dedicated teachers, highly pressured environment, result oriented, high probability that children might hate learning and school
.
*Kebangsaan school = less disciplined, low quality of teaching, less pressured environment, don’t get to master the chinese language, but most of us grew up in this system and turned out okay.

Well, my time is up and a choice had to be made. How did I make the choice? I chose to go with convenience. The Kebangsaan school we registered at is only 2 minutes away. After much thinking, I decided that it shouldn’t matter which school my children go to if I stay in charge of their education. I am their no.1 teacher and will stay that way even when they start formal school. Whether they are in a chinese school or a kebangsaan school, I am NOT going to just hand over their education to the teachers. Therefore, the real school is still the home. The other school is just a matter of formality.

So, which school is better? It all depends on what you want for your child, your expectations, their disposition, and what is your definition of a good education. Nobody can answer that question for you.

Write in and tell me what you have chosen and why.

Have a child who hates to write? Something must have turned him/her off. Could it be the countless, monotonous drilling found in schools? Whatever it is, let’s put the fun back into writing. Here are some things I’ve done that have helped my children in their writing skills:

1. Don’t be afraid to let them hold a pen/pencil.
I’ve had some well meaning folks advice me to NOT let my toddlers play with a pen/pencil because they may poke themselves in the eye. Don’t let this kind of thinking deprive your children from early writing experiences. On the contrary, encourage such acts of exploration.

2. Easy access to writing materials.
Allocate an area where your children can easily grab writing materials such as pen, pencils, color pencils, crayons and paper. Warning: Much paper will be “wasted” during these early years, so find a source where you can get unwanted papers that you can ‘recycle’.

3. Encourage scribbling.
Many parents get excited when they see their children enthusiastically making marks on a paper. They jump right in and try to teach the child to draw ‘proper’ recognizable shapes. Leave children to scribble. It is part of their pre-writing skills. When my son started scribbling, I let him be and gave him lots of paper to do it. Without any instruction from me, soon his scribbling started to yield some recognizable shapes. Soon these shapes progressed to look like alphabets. It is a gradual process that first needs minimal instruction but lots of encouragement.

4. Get creative.
Writing doesn’t just have to be on paper. My kids love to blow up balloons and write/draw on them. How about using chalk on the sidewalk or cement surfaces outside the house. You can also find forms in magazines or bank slips for them to pretend to fill up, just like an adult. Just make sure children clearly understand that there are certain places they can’t put their markings e.g. books, wall and furniture. To protect your lovely walls, you could stick up some white paper (like ‘mahjung’ paper) and designate that area for their art work.

5. When it’s time for your children to start learning alphabets, I suggest you start with the first letter of their name. The motivation is greater that way as young children are still very self centered.

6. Utilize technology.
There are plenty of writing worksheets that you can print for your children. There are some here at TLSBooks.com under the heading “Preschool Fine Motor Skills Worksheets”.
For older children learning to spell, how about setting up an email address and have them write to friends and family, or even to yourself.

7. Showcase their work.
Children love it when you do things to make their work look important (adults are the same). So put their scribblings up on the fridge, door or wall.

Make writing fun and learning will come naturally.